I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
