My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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