So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
