I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
