is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
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Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
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My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.