Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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