its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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