I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize