She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
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He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
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Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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