i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
