At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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