I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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