oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
P.S. I can't hear my feet
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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