Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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