He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
