You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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