cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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