Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
