batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
he thought i was a dude.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
