You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
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