I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
