He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
