He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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