i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize