I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
