I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
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