You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Congratulations! We have a period
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