i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
