Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
