ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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