I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Randomize
