I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
