I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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