Who did Billy Mays play for?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
