dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
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I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
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YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
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