anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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