I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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