Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
