pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
