Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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