Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
