How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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