you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
