I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
