I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
