I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
