I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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