you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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