i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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