Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
