The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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