he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
