This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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