So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
The power of my boobs compel you
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
