part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
