I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I don't think brook has ever known best
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
