similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
