eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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