went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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