member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
