i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
