I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
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i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
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Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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