he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I will pee on everything he values.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
